Who Sends the Invitations?
Traditionally, the bride's parents organize the invitations as they are the
hosts of the wedding. The bride's mother usually sends out the invitations and
receives the replies. This applies even if the groom's parents make some
financial contribution towards the wedding.
If the wedding is being hosted by the betrothed couple or another relative, such
as an uncle or a godparent, the invitations should be sent by the couple
themselves.
When Are Invitations Sent?
Once the wedding arrangements have been finalized the wedding invitations should
be sent out. It is usual to send out invitations 2 or 3 months before the
wedding day.
Many people book holidays many months in advance so if the wedding date is set
for the summer or one of the other popular holiday periods it may be advisable
to give longer notice to close family and friends.
All the invitations should be sent out at the same time if at all possible.
Compiling a Guest List
The guest list was traditionally compiled by the bride's mother in consultation
with the groom's family.
Nowadays the guest list is usually compiled by the couple in consultation with
their parents and family.
The number of guests from each side of the couple's family should not be
influenced by who is paying for the wedding. The numbers of guests related to
each of the couple may be different because one of the couple has more relatives
or one side may live some distance from the wedding and therefore find it more
difficult to attend. However, the families of each of the couple should be given
the same opportunity to attend.
If the wedding is hosted by someone other than the couple's parents, they should
also be consulted as to whom to invite.
Immediate family and close friends are the first to be put on the guest list.
The difficulty comes when choosing whether to invite more distant relatives and
other acquaintances such as colleagues from work or neighbors.
It is helpful to group potential guests into :
definites: immediate family and very close friends
probables: other relatives and friends
possibles: work colleagues, neighbors and other acquaintances
The number of guests will be determined mainly by cost although other factors,
such as the size of the wedding and reception venues, may also have an
influence.
Many couples choose to follow the wedding reception with a dance and drinks in
the evening. This provides the opportunity to include people in the celebrations
who could not be invited to reception.
Some Register Offices and smaller churches have a limit on the number of guest
who can attend. If this the case, then perhaps some guests could be invited to
the reception or evening celebrations only.
Although most people will understand why they have only been invited to part of
the celebrations some thought should be given to people's sensitivities.
Some reception venues have age limits on children allowed to attend.
Additionally, they may not be suitable for children. It is therefore important
to decide when choosing venues if children will be invited. Again, a solution
may be to invite them only to part of day's celebrations.
As a matter of courtesy invitations should be sent to the Best Man, bridesmaids
and other attendants. If the wedding is hosted by the bride's parent's, an
invitation should also be sent to the groom's parents. The minister who
officiates at the wedding and their spouse should also be invited. They will not
normally accept unless they know the family well.
Styles of Invitation
The wedding invitation should reflect the style of the wedding. This gives the
guests an idea of what to expect. For example a formal invitation on heavy
embossed card with classic typeface would indicate a formal wedding whereas a
hand written invitation would indicate a more informal gathering.
Hand Written Invitations
A hand written invitation is ideal for small, informal weddings. The personal
touch is often appreciated by those invited.
Shop-Bought Invitations
There is a wide variety of styles of invitations available in stationery shops
and newsagents and it should be easy to find something appropriate for most
styles of wedding. This type of invitation has spaces to fill in the for the
appropriate information, such as the couple's names and wedding location.
Bespoke Invitations
Many printers specialize in wedding stationery and will allow the couple to
design invitations to their own specification. They will also help in the design
by presenting a variety of styles of invitation which can be modified to the
couple's taste. There is a selection of colors, typefaces, borders, motifs,
drawings, embossed print, and even incorporation of ribbons to choose from which
result in a highly personalized invitation.
All the details of the wedding are incorporated into the invitation except for
the guests' names which are written in by hand to give a personal touch.
It is essential to check the proofs before the invitations are printed and
perhaps ask several people to double check. Small errors in times, dates or
locations can ruin the day if not corrected.
It take about two to three weeks from ordering to receiving the finished
invitations.
